The Potential of Ritual

Apathy and lassitude are the stepchildren of nihilism.

That's probably why I am writing instead of doing. I should be in central Montana enjoying 2 bargain priced track days. Granted, the venue is not a real track. It's a two lane closed loop used by the state for training purposes. It's a five hour drive from home.

I explained this all to my wife when she asked why I wasn't going. She pointed out that it was what I had, the best option that was available this weekend. I hate it when she uses better than nothing logic.

But, I still didn't go. I was too busy being lazy and apathetic.

Finally, I managed to stir up enough energy to take a bike ride; the kind of bike you have to pedal. The first ride in two weeks. That's usually a signal that I have managed to flip the switch towards taking action to subdue the twin stepchildren.

30 minutes into the ride a combination of endorphins and conditioned psychological response takes over creating a counterforce to apathy and lassitude. Of course, it's too late to load up and go. That's why I'm writing instead of driving today.

But, I just finished another bike ride. It was windy. I hate the wind. Ask any bicyclist and they will tell you that a headwind sucks. I would rather climb a hill any day. You can see a hill, how steep it is, where it ends.

A headwind is invisible, deceiving.

But, once you have a headwind, you might as well tilt the road.

I ride my bicycle in a loop. It's a ritual. When it's windy, half the time there's a headwind.

The headwind was annoying today. I bitched to myself about the headwind. But, I managed to continue pedaling, finished the loop and predictably the counter balance to apathy and lassitude gained a bit more strength.

I think that's because when I started the wind was at my back.